Love the "Things That Must Go"
Here's my meager contribution...
Things That Must Go...
1) Breath that smells like buttcraque. How hard it is to brush? How expensive is Scope that we cannot even swoosh a couple gulps around in our mouths at least once per day? Do you not smell the toxic fumes emanating from your putrid mouth? Yuk. Oh yeah...and have you seen your teeth...they're sick! Gargling with pickle juice and vinegar should stop.
2) Common bank cliches...don't say these: After being asked how they would like their cash back..a) "Green." SHUT UP! I know the money is green. b) "US Currency." Another brilliant display of wit and intellect. c) "Doesn't matter...it all spends the same." I HATE THAT PHRASE!
After being given a $2 bill: a) "Hey, a two-dollar bill! I haven't seen one of these forever!" Great. I don't care. b) "Do they still print these?" Nope I just took a receipt and drew a few lines on it. That's not even a real bill.
After being asked if there is anything else we can do for them: "Yes." And then they just walk away. The intelligence overfloweth...
3) Buff guys that flex their arms when they wave or point. (Yeah, I'm thinking about Mimi's cafe too guys...)
4) People with HUGE zits on their face that don't pop them. My good golly... That looks like it took 3 weeks to form. I mean 10 gallons of pus and all. When did you last look in the mirror?
5) Talking loudly on the cell phone in a public place. I don't care about you life. I think its sick that you just called your special someone "Baby." Sick.
6) Green Day
7) Hype about the HBO series "Big Love." Controversy surrounding Mormon polygamy? OH MY GOSH....that's just unHEARD of!!!!!
posted by Anonymous at 4/03/2006 06:06:00 PM
3 Comments:
My thing that must go: Mothers who think their child is YOUR responsibility.
I always see 3 year old kids running all over the place in stores - and when one of the kids runs into me or knocks something over the mother always has the attitude of "well now you know how I feel!"
I didn't take the responsibility of your baby, maam. I don't care about how you feel, or how your life is. It's your responsibility to teach your kids how to act - not my responsibility to deal with your inability to teach your kids how to act.
I agree with the bank thing, I hated when people said those things, like green and US currency like they are all funny and the first to ever say it.
What about the people that, when asked "What do you want to do?" "Uh, I'd liked that cashed." Oh no shit? Did you go to college to ge tthem to teach you that you get things cashed at a bank?
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