Problem - Need Advice
I have this friend that I've known since first grade. Even though we went to college in different states, we still maintain that we're the best of friends.
He's had problems with major depression. He's been institutionalized but nothing seems to help. This January when I was in Costa Rica he told a friend he was going to kill himself. The friend called the cops and he was taken to another mental hospital.
When I got home I didn't know what to do. It was too scary for me; it hit too close to home because I was almost taken away myself. I was also afraid of saying the wrong thing, because he was in such a delicate position. Selfishly, I was afraid of getting too close to the situation and having a kind of flashback to my own horrible time. So I did nothing.
The more time went by, the harder it was to call. Then I got too involved in my own simple life and now it's six months later, seemingly an eternity.
Yesterday as I walked out of my house I saw him riding by on his bicycle. By the time I noticed it was him, he was speeding away as fast as he could. So now the problem is fresh in my mind.
I feel so incredibly guilty. I have been through everything with this guy, including the death of one of our best friends. Now I failed him in his hour of need.
What do I do???
He's had problems with major depression. He's been institutionalized but nothing seems to help. This January when I was in Costa Rica he told a friend he was going to kill himself. The friend called the cops and he was taken to another mental hospital.
When I got home I didn't know what to do. It was too scary for me; it hit too close to home because I was almost taken away myself. I was also afraid of saying the wrong thing, because he was in such a delicate position. Selfishly, I was afraid of getting too close to the situation and having a kind of flashback to my own horrible time. So I did nothing.
The more time went by, the harder it was to call. Then I got too involved in my own simple life and now it's six months later, seemingly an eternity.
Yesterday as I walked out of my house I saw him riding by on his bicycle. By the time I noticed it was him, he was speeding away as fast as he could. So now the problem is fresh in my mind.
I feel so incredibly guilty. I have been through everything with this guy, including the death of one of our best friends. Now I failed him in his hour of need.
What do I do???
posted by Anonymous at 7/12/2006 08:39:00 AM
2 Comments:
Did he run from you on his bike?
Nothing fixes things better than a sincere apology without excuses. Explanation, maybe... but excuses disregard apologies.
Do you know he is mad at you?
Just be nice. Kindness can change a lot of things. Hes probably just acting tough because he thinks you blew him off. This sounds rude but its not your job to fix all his problems. People like to get mad at other things so they can place blame on something else. As a friend you probably want to be there for him, but from that story you didn't do anything wrong?
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