The ever-widening hole...
I feel like crap (I've been really sick) so this may be short. The risk of Hollywood or other dramatized relationship situation is it creates an expectation that will never be met (bravo Maxy). Your spouse is never good enough. If we subscibe to this we will find ourselves sliding down a hole of disappointment throughout our lives. NEVER able to enjoy a singular moment.
I disagree with Max on one point. The men portrayed in the media are a little different than the women. The objectification is similar but the pornography industry speaks to a new level of seriousness. Women often are not stimulated (and often don't abondon reason and common sense like some men) when exposed to a sexual image. They often find it repulsive. A poll of prison inmates (I read in a Gender class I took---sorry for no reference) indicates that many start with porn. Control, objectification, the commoditization of women attracts them. Disrespect to women--porn--abusive relationship--rape--other crime...or more rape. It is a path too many take. Men are the masters of their domain (so society says) so it is logical for them to see women as property. I just also want to point at the number of women IN the porn industry relative to men. ALSO, how many men are porn addicts cpmpared with men? These numbers must be staggering!!! TOTAL imbalance...
Men MUST control themselves and find ways to ground their sexual desires. The woman is not in charge of tempering us. WE ARE!
Struggle? You bet. Progress? Inevitable.
posted by Anonymous at 4/10/2006 11:22:00 PM
9 Comments:
Yeah I dont think max compared it to pornography on the serious level but like pornography it creates an alternate reality with unreal expectations. Good points from both of you though.
So what we are saying here is just like guys cant live up to the perfect romance in the movies, women cant live up the ones in porn. I'll trade ya.
no actually both me and scott just said that porn is much worse and a much more unrealistic expectation
Perhaps the point that I made was very unclear. I thought that I did a good job but it seems that you have missed it entirely. I never compared Chic Flicks to be on the same level as Pornography. Pornography is much worse! I compared it on the same level as it being a distorter of what is actually happening. That's what they both are! Argue as you might, that is the truth. Bravo Numchuks for getting it. They both create something that, if you get addicted to any, demolishes any standing relationship that you will ever hope to find. It creates a thought that if we as men don't find Jenna Jameson, or we as women don't find John Cusack, or whoever, then we are in the wrong relationship. It creates a feeling of inadequacy, of your needs not being met on both levels. That is the point of what I said. Not comparing which one is worse, or even more harmful.
he he he... you said "hole"
Sorry I just misunderstood. What I got out of all of it was men are expected to act and look a certain way, like the men in the movies, and women are supposed to look and preform a certain way, like the women in porn.
On a serious note, it seems to me that there is a big difference between how porn-stars are portrayed and the women in chick flicks. In many chick flicks the woman is passive, waiting for love, insecure, etc. From what I've seen of Jenna Jamison (on VH1's programs) she is very confident, take control, in charge.
It's easy to see the problem here. Chick-flick following women think the perfect guy will fall into their lap and they just have to smile and be happy. Porn watching men may see women that are confident and in charge.
I guess my point is that confidence is attractive. It could be that the men that watch porn aren't attracted to the sexual aspect of it as much..... or it could be that they just like big boobs.
So what are you saying porn makes us expect? Great sex that you can't have? A girl with a body that isnt the body of the girl you are with? I guess I better go watch porn so I somewhat understand what is going on here. Because I havent seen porn. So what does it distort sex or female bodies? SOrry I just feel like we are all beating around the bush or something cause I dont understand.
The unrealistic expectation might be that both people are on the same page and enjoying it.
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