Friday, May 05, 2006

Jer Watching TV?

...Also... why the hell aren't we eating at chilis w/ sombreiros? It's freakin cinco de mayo.. and if you all went w/o me >.<

So I started watching the OC. Ya, I know, as if I have the time. Anyway Chelz and I finished all of seasons 1 and 2. The dumb things are addicting. And now I'm left hanging, I knew there was a reason I hated T.V. Oh well, seeing on how that kept me entertained for a good while maybe we'll start up on Lost or something else. What other series are on DVD that I just blocked out in my no T.V. phase?? Make some suggestions, I think I'm finally going to get netflix.

WARNING/ ACHTUNG/ ATTENCION



This message is for anyone that would like to attend some good old fashioned family fun! THE AQUABATS ARE COMING! For those of you that are stout hearted and would like to attend a really fun concert, the show is May 9 @ In The Venue. It will be a good time had by all. Tickets are 16 bucks a piece on 24tix.com. So come one, come all. The doors open at 7:00.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Warning--This is my rant about mental illness in my own words

Soldier gets sick of this, but I'm posting this anyway.

I have been reflecting on my illness of late. I have so much to say. I just picked up a book about a bipolar girl's "journey" through the illness. After one psychotic episode (granted, it was pretty horrifying) resulting from Paxil, an antidepressant drug, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She was then put on lithium and--TADA!--she was suddenly and completely healed.

Fact 1: Bipolar disorder is a lifetime illness.
Fact 2: There is no cure for this disorder.

So aside from her psychotic episode and one depressive preceding it, what does this woman know about being bipolar? Who is she to represent us?

I am part of an online message board for people with bipolar disorder so I know how it is from listening to hundreds of others. And I know because I've lived it. It has taken away two years of my life. I have tried over 20 different medications over the course, taking me a year and a half to finally find the right ones, because it takes more than one. It's called a cocktail and it usually consists of a mood stabilizer, an antipsychotic, and antidepressant, and sometimes anti-anxity and sleeping medications. In the meantime, I suffered the side effects--weight gain, headaches, fibromyalgia, muscle tremors, blurred vision, racing or palpitating heart, insomnia, nausea, agitation and anxiety, not to mention the increasing of intensity of my episodes. I spent time in the hospital because of an overdose (accidental, doctor's error) and nearly had to commit myself on Christmas day. I suffered the emotional side effects as well, thinking that I've lost myself forever, being unfamiliar with the new person I was becoming. I've lost all of my friends and the support and understanding of my family. But most of all, I live with the illness every minute of every day of my life. It doesn't sleep. I won't list the symptoms ( learn about it here) but just know that just like Sysiphus I roll that rock only for it to come back down. The next day I start again. But at least I start.

I know this is a rant. I know it probably seems like a pitty party. But I have a desperate need to communicate my illness to others and share my experience to plead my case against the ignorant and indifferent world. We suffer. We are fragile. We need help. And that only comes with awareness.

But we can recover. We can't get rid of the illness, but we can keep it at bay. So if you know of someone suffering from a mental illness (depression, anxiety, ADHD, schizophrenia) please be kind. We are fighting and will need your strength to helps us through.

Has anyone seen Jake lately?

I found this picture of Jake. He looks a litle different after the job he just got.

Music for the Week


The latest...

They have some really unconventional elements in their music. Just enough synth to keep it interesting and great rhythm ideas. I love the razor sharp guitar and the heated vocals. there is some urgency to this music. Worth a listen...
Hey round of drinks for everyone Jake got his new job!

Truths Or Pessimism?

These are a few things I concider truths but some would concider pessimism.

1) You are either adding to peoples lifes or taking away from thier lives.

2) No one cares if you are depressed. There is too much to do.

3) A beautiful woman gets more respect and attention than a smart woman.

4) A fat girl with a pretty face is not concidered "hot"

5) You will never have enough money.

6) Friends come and go, only family stays.

7) In order to have true friends you have to be a good friend. Even behind thier backs. And having good friends takes EFFORT.

8) Karma is a biotch, what comes around goes around.

9) We are what we do.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Pops weighing in...


I cannot imagine what woud have happened to me if I had paraded down the steet with pro-USA banners and American flags in the middle of Spain where I lived.

We respected local customs. We didn't speak English in public. We always spoke Spanish to everyone first. We never walked into a bank, store, or bus stop and asked if anyone spoke english. We didn't call the peseta (later the Euro) a dollar. I hear dollars openly called pesos all the time.

Circumstances were different for us, of course. We weren't normal citizens. But I can tell you that it takes a tremendous amount of pride to resist the indigenous culture. Every culture has so many wonderful parts to it. I found myself wanting to be more Spanish. I read books written in Castilian Spanish to make sure I was speaking like the natives. I didn't deny my American culture but I found I could augment it with the vibrant, bright culture the Spaniards have.

I haven't even talked about taxes. If you live here, drive on the roads, call the police, go to the hospital etc. etc. you should pay for what you use. You should contribute to the pool of resources instead of just making withdrawals.

Immigration is what brought my mother's family from Ireland and my Swiss ancestors here. It is a great benefit to our country. I love to meet people of all ethnicities and backgrounds. But lets do it in a controlled, LEGAL!!!!! way. If half of the USA eventually is comprised of Mexican citizens...AWESOME! I speak their language and would love to interact with such a dynamic Latino culture. But they should have to come here legally. Just like I would have to go to Mexico legally.

I hear right from the Hispanic people's mouths what difficult things they go through in Mexico. The government resists reform. They want to export their economic problems to the US. Mexico City has been described to me as a hole. I talk to people all day about this. They are wonderful people. I have learned so much about the Mexican people...right from the source. Many people work for 60 hours a week and send it all home to Mexico to their families to help with food, weddings, unemployment etc. They are a wonderful people.

But I also have called the police on Mexicans who are cashing bad checks, using forged Social Security cards, using forged Consulate cards, and who are dishonest in every way. There are also a lot of white people who do this too. But the people who I busted were illegal aliens. The cost for me to call the police was paid for by my own tax dollar. These crooks had NEVER contributed to the system that was incarcerating them. The cost to incarcerate them is another story. The police were able to verify that these people were not only illegal aliens but were using the same social security number as over FIFTY other people!!!

There is so much deception clouding this culture...I hate to say that but its true. I am tired of getting the runaround when i ask a person to see their ID. There's that uneasy look when I ask for their ID to cash a check. There is that sheepish look when they want me to break bankwide policy to cash their $300 check from McDonalds.

My gosh...I get people at the bank asking me EVERY DAY..."can I cash my friend's check?"..."can I deposit her check for her?" Do you know why they do this? BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE THE CREDENTIALS TO GET A BANK ACCOUNT...THEY DON"T HAVE SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBERS...they are trying to beat the system. It is so aggravating to see this. If you live here as an illegal immigrant...AT LEAST abide by the rules...

I will say it again. I speak Spanish. I don't have a problem with every sign being posted in two languages. I can read both...and so can "Conformity." We hope our kids will learn too. I would have no problem speaking it to half the people I see each day. I LOVE the latino culture. But there are rules. Imagine a world without traffic lights. Freedom, right? You can drive wherever you like. Well...you can just imagine the chaos that would ensue. This is a worn out cliche analogy to show that rules are an important part to the functionality of society. Immigration MUST be reformed in some way.

You cannot, and shouldn't expect to, just walk into another country and join the ranks as if you had always been there. There is an orderly process to accomplish this. This process does not consist of you hiding in the back of a van while the driver speeds across the border and gives you a fake ID and wishes you luck.

Did anyone see Colbert's speech?

Here's a link for everyone - note: there's 3 parts. This link is part 1 of 3.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcIRXur61II&feature=Views&page=1&t=t&f=b

Stephen Colbert spoke at the White House Corresponents dinner, and absolutely trashed the Bush administration - with Bush sitting 3 chairs away. Quite an amazing display.

Immigration Boycott

I have never weighed in on the immigration debate in any circles. I just plain don't know what to think. There are compelling arguments on both sides, and either decision would be monumental.

However, recent headlines suggest that the boycott called by the hispanic (and otherwise immigrant) population is being felt by businesses. This is the first concrete evidence we have that shows their worth and in this country and power to influence the economy. Don't be mistaken; I personally wasn't questioning their worth before. I just think that after all this, maybe it's true that we couldn't go without them if they were to be extradited.

Another thought: How much of this movement is motivated by prejudice? Is the push to remove illegal immigrants just another way of discriminating against other races?

Undecided...

Yesterday after we signed on our home there was this Hispanic family (about three different families together.... It was obvious that 2 or 3 families were going to pull resources, to live in and buy a new home together) that came in to look at the new homes. They were interested in buying and wanted to make an appointment with the agent. Previously she had told us that she was booked until the end of the month (May). I overheard her tell them as they asked about making an appointment to sign on a home, that she was completely booked until the end of June (at that point there would no longer be any homes available to build).

It took me a few minutes to understand what was going on, but I really think she just didn't want 3 families to be sharing a home in the community... Basically discriminating. We don't pay an HOA fee in the community, but have to sign in the contract that we aren't going to rent the home, park vehicles on the lawn, etc... Things of that nature to keep the community looking nice. I found myself on one hand feeling really bad for this family that she lied to them. On the other had I was glad that she turned them away because we've forked out a lot of money for this home and to be in this nice community, and I want it to stay that way. I guess it's bad on my part to infer that this family would make their house/yard look bad, but..... We did try to star clear of buying from neighborhoods where there were multiple families living in the same home. In general, their yards and houses aren't kept as well.

Soooooo... I find myself feeling pretty undecided as far as how I should feel about what happened. I'd love to hear some insight an opinions from all of you....

Monday, May 01, 2006

Toyota FJ Cruiser



So a lot of this is only cool to me but I'll say this anyway. The new cruiser is growing on me. There are hard core old school fj40 owners who disagree that the new FJ Cruiser is a modern version of the original, but to me it is every bit as capable, if not more than the original Land Cruiser. The FJ features a-trac traction control which measures the speed of each wheel more than 1 million times per second. If any wheel is not spinning equally with the rest(meaning it is stuck and not turning) it automatically directs more power to this wheel in fractions of a section. This basically gives the FJ full lockers(if that doesn't do it though it also is available with a locking rear differential.
There are also rumors that toyota is working on a special edition version which will be available in colors similar to the original. Toyota is also paying a company called TLC Restorations to make a soft top, solid axle version. This leads to speculation that Toyota will one day make a production model with a soft top and solid front axle. Would I trade my current cruiser for an FJ? not yet but maybe one day. Would I trade the Subaru for an FJ? That's up to Toni(Ok she's probably tired of that joke). Ok you're probably all bored of this post by now

I am Still Wondering...


I would really be interested if everyone wanted to get their stuff together that they wanted to get rid of and have a big garage sale. Items could be labeled with different colored stickers to correspond to the seller. We would attract a lot more attention having more stuff, we could make some dough, and I still think it would be great to get together for a Saturday. I am not saying we should do it this weekend...but sometime this summer. Tricia and I really need to do one, anyway, as we make this transition.

LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!!
LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!!
LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!!
LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!!
LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!!

10 years from now...

Where do I see myself 10 years from now?

Probably back east somewhere while Scott is finishing residency... I imagine he has chosen Pediatrics, Ear, Nose and Throat, or maybe even surgery. I bet I'm knee deep in being a "soccer Mom" for a few kids and a playgroup Mom for another. I hope I've had the opportunity to take a few more pottery and photography classes and maybe even have a few clients for fitness training...

I hope we've made a dent in paying off Med School and we can look for work and a home on the west coast somewhere....

Tone Locs Pleasures

Seeing my new nephew, Gage.

Kisses on the forehead from Numchuks.

Hugging my mother in law.

Phone calls every morning from my best friend as we drive to work.

Sparta's hugs. And her head nods. And watching her play alone with balls.

The first Diet Coke of the day.. AAHHH

The way my lipgloss smells.

My parents dog Poppy and how she has to follow me into the bathroom so I can pet her while I pee.

The smell of a horse.

When you are outside and your skin smells like recess.

Mom hugs. They say everything is alright.

Piper's groggy smiles in the morning.

Knowing you are missed.

My step dad's awkward hugs which are so meaniful. And hearing him say he loves me.

When my grandma says "now dont drop the baby", and when my grandpa says "bless your heart" and kissing my grandmas waxy cheeks.







Seeing my friends in the temple.



Receiving emails from my cousin Kate every day without fail.

Piper.

My boss saying "its nice to have you here today."

Looking forward to a good show on TV.

Getting magazines in the mail.

My little fatty Eli's big puppet smile.

Thought of you Lizzen...

I was watching Oprah on Friday and they were talking about body types and what kinds of pants you should buy for your body type... it was really enlightening!

After telling me that you get most of your info for your classes from shows, I kept thinking "I wonder if Lizzen is watching this too...."

Refreshment

Can I just say how nice and refreshing it is to be around people like you guys who are always moving forward trying to make yourselfs better. Its so motivating to hear what you all have to say. I just love that you are all trying to constantly better yourselfs and looking within to see what needs to change. Its a reminder to not get stuck in monotonous life and stand still. We constantly need to be learning and growing and working to become better. Being curious and more knowledgable. And you all are such good examples of that. Its so important to surround yourself with people like that, people that push you and make you want to become a better person. It is also humbling, it makes me realize how nieve and ignorant I have been. I barely read anymore, I dont look into music, I struggle to analyze anything these day. Its a nice refreshing wake up call. So lets keep on keeping on. Thanks for the example and motivation and reminder that I am never enough and never doing enough.

Life's Simple Pleasures

Here are a few things that I love in life...


Australia starting to clap for the first time in the middle of sacrament meeting (it was so cute!)

Chocolate covered strawberries

A simple "thank you" to and from a stranger

Watching the weight on the scale slowly decrease

Having good conversation with freinds

Hearing Australia say "Uh, oh" as she drops her plastic spoon onto the floor

Big bear hugs from Pops

Running around the track with Pops, and Australia as she sticks her tongue out into the wind like a puppy dog

Big bear hugs from Australia

My little family

Two-Way Street

In response to Pops post on Pride...

Wow! Now, here's a soapbox for me...
Pride goes both ways!!! I can't tell you how many times I've been labeled for having "well-to-do" parents!!! ... And bless thier hearts, they get labeled all the time... For some reason if you have money, you are evil, prideful, and obviously arrogant... My parents are the most unselfish, down to earth people I know.... (ask Pops).

Conversation usually goes something like this ...

"She's probably never had to go without or learned how to work (I've worked since I was 14 years old and had four differnt jobs before graduating high school... and as far as going without... is there a rule that says you have to "go without" in order to be a more well-rounded person... that makes sense "let's have our kids go without food for a month... it'll make them better people")"...

"I wonder what kind of car she got to drive in high school (an '85 Mitsubishi Mirage... it was by NO MEANS the prettiest thing to look at... And I paid insurance and gas as long as I drove it)...

"Wow, look at her parents house... what a bunch of show-off's (first of all, shame on you for thinking that, and second thier house is not for them, it was built specifically for thier children and grandchildren... they have an open-door policy for whoever wants to stay there).

I used to get mad a Pops for being so excited about their house, among other things... I stopped doing that because I'm not ashamed... I have nothing to be ashamed of. I am so proud of my parents and am grateful for all their hard work so that we wouldn't have "to go without."

Touching...

The Silent Majority

I just had a touching experience at work. A friend of mine here, Scott, got out of a conference with my boss and I walked in there and he was crying and Reza, another guy I work with took him outside. Reza is from Iran and he is the sweetest most humble guy and he took Scott by the hand and we all went outside. Scott went on to tell us how his girlfriend, of 5 years, broke up with him and Reza and I listened and gave our feedback. But it was so touching to all come together like that. Reza was giving his humble half english comfort, talking about his life experiences, offering to take Scott hiking, and Scott asking me for my female take on the matter. It was touching and sweet and reminded me why we are here. We are all the same, we all hurt, we all need people. Whether crazy hippie (Scott) or GQ Iranian, or married girl, we are all here for each other and we are all equal and have so much to offer if we just reach out and be caring and be compassionate. We all just need love and support. We all need PEOPLE. And we all have something to offer. What are you offering?

What I Can't Get Enough Of

These are all obvious . . . they're my favorite bands' recent CDs. But they're amazing.

NOFX - The War on Errorism
Bad Religion - The Process of Belief
Rancid - Indestructible
Rise Against - Siren Song of the Counterculture
Strung Out - Exile in Oblivion

And some other great bands:

The Sounds
Panic at the Disco
the Postal Service
Propagandhi
Gwen Stefani (yep, I said it)
The Soviettes
The Spill Canvas (Heirmos and Eros, great one!)
Flogging Molly
The Transplants (just their first CD)
Tiger Army (The Power of Moonlite)

And finally, my most favorite song of all time:
NOFX - "The Decline"

Sunday, April 30, 2006

Unexplainable...


This just happened tonight as we went up to see the progress on our house. We were sitting at 3500 S. to get on I-215 Southbound. We got the green arrow but I didn't see it. I just kind of zoned out for a sec. My uncle who was in the car turned to me and said, "Scott, you've got the arrow." I still didn't move for a little bit. I don't really know why...it wasn't conscious on my part. Just then a white sedan sped through the intersection at, we estimate, 50 mph. I would have turned and that car would have slammed into our Corolla on Baby Australia's side of the car.

I don't know why things like that happen. I made some conscious decisions this week to improve my life and obey the commandments. My wife is already righteous and in tune. My baby is an absolute angel. I like to think that we were spared from disastrous consequences at that intersection because of some small changes I chose to make...in addition to the two celestial women I live with. I have felt some interesting feelings as I have reflected on this event. Samuel...some things that were said in that conversation at Jake and Toni's house have sunk in, man. You truly are one of roughly 5 people on this planet who could talk about those things with me and not get a faceful of backlash. I think some realizations are coming round. There have been some really high highs these last couple of months...but I have learned some humility too in some poignant experiences.

I am greatful for good friends.

Tone, I am glad you noticed my "blog fanness." :) You're awesome.

Tone Locs List

The Silent Majority

This is my list of stuff I am always listening to:
The Juliana Theory: All but mostly Emotion Is Dead
Alkaline Trio: All but mostly Maybe I'll Catch Fire
The Used
Brandston: Send Us A Signal
Taking Back SUnday: Tell All Your Friends
Ben Folds: Rockin The Suberbs
Counting Crow: All but mostly Live Across A Wire Disk Two
Bayside: Bayside and Acoustic
Face to Face: Big Choice
Coldplay: All
Jack Johnson: All
Deathcab For Cutie:Transatlantisism
Dido: All but mostly Life For Rent
Jimmy Eat World: Futures
Rise Against: Siren Song
Thursday: Full Collapse
Third Eye Blind: Blue & Self Titled
The Doors: LA Woman
The Cure: All
The Postal Service: Give Up

Ode To Another Week

This is my complain that the weekend is over. Another week, of stress, of work, of being obligated to go to bed early, of having to blowdry my hair, of making dinner, of taking Piper to the babysitters, of longing for Friday, of David Letterman and the news before bed. Hey atleast this week ends with Moab. This week I lost a friend at work, he quit. I will miss him, so that sucks. He also stocks the fridge with Diet Coke for me. I am the only one that drinks it but he does it anyway.. how will I survive now? So I am even less excited to work this week.
So my cousin (she lives in Oregon) she sent me an mp3 of music, so this is the music I am listening to this week, I will let you know whats good and if any of its worth checking out.. even though some may already know.

Ben Harper: Both Sides Of The Gub
Broken Social Scene
Built To Spill: YOu In Reverse
Floater: Alter
Damien Rice
Bright Eyes: Im Wide Awake Its Morning
Jack Johnson and Friends: Curious George Sntrack'
NIN: one song called Right Where it Belongs ( good song)

A Potpourri of People



















It may seem really comical to have some of these faces in the same entry. There is no message in the order of the photos. The painting is Alma the Younger, by the way. These are people I find interesting...for various reasons. Some I would like to be like...some I don't want to emulate at all. Some have done wonderful, earthshattering things...some have only pretended to. Some may have done nothing too important. Anyway, just some people who have caught my attention lately.

Ones you won't know:

The guy in the military uniform is Daniel Callaghan. He was a heroic Rear Admiral in the Batlle of Guadalcanal.

The man in a suit is our pediatrician, Dr. Folland. This man is a great individual.

The serious man under Churchill is Wladyslaw Szpilman...the polish pianist who survived the Holocaust. The movie The Pianist was made about his experience.

That's Beethoven and Mozart at the top. Two fairly capable guys...

Two others you may not recognize are Martin Gore (brains behind Depeche Mode) and Roland Orzabal (the lead singer and genius behind Tears for Fears). Both superb songwriters...very creative.

The two clipart images represent my parents...in their younger years, of course. he he he

NO LIFEBOATS


Hey everyone. The "Blog Boat" better not go down in flames. There have been some rough spells...but lets keep posting. I am just as anxious as ever to know what everyone is doing and thinking about.

The posts don't have to be long...they don't have to be deep.

The big reason why I want to keep everyone interested here?

When we were younger and less committed to so many things...we would just hang out. Updates on personal ideas, events, and concerns took place over a game of basketball, sitting on a couch somewhere, or driving to Graywhale. We don't have that luxury anymore. Family committments, work obligations, and geographical separation all prevent us from just sitting around and talking all the time. This is a great way to keep in touch and get to know each other better...I am a Bloggy fan.

A Tribute...Miniscule but Appreciated


I have been complaining that I need to eat more vegetables. My wife is courteous enough to help me with this. She buys them and then slices them for me and puts them in the fridge in Tupperware. She eats them too...but my complaint was that I wanted to eat them but they were never there ready to eat. I appreciate her help.